HorizEn BreakR: Teaser 1

Hopeful Despair I

                        

                                               Michal Jorden was one of those normal men. Being ordinary is one of the greatest fears of an Everyman. They fabricate themselves as heroes, explorers, adventurers, celebrities, spies or men in suffering or damsels in distress. Each has their own versions of boogiemans and horrors. Their mentality shapes their monsters. But you can suppress all that and live your ordinary lives. Glitches do happen. But you can tell yourself that you have gotten it wrong or made a mistake. You think there is a solid objective universe around you which you are a tiny insignificant particle of.

                                                                Michal lived in a town called Silent Hill. It was named after the popular survival horror game. The game series had helped him a lot. He was one of the activists worked to make the town a tourist attraction by making it look like a decaying town of slumbering horror. It was all just made up. There was no cult or some supernatural forces. Some talked about some mystic groups camouflaged as tourists doing some secret experiments in the woods. Michal was excited and enthusiastic. But like any ordinary man, he did what he is supposed to and branded them as fantasies and stupid misleading bit of info.

                                        Now looking at a huge hole in the middle of a secret facility in the woods he felt the lines of reality being blurred. He tried to recall. He shook his head. He couldn’t even remember who he was. He felt his life fading away. His hero fantasies were being awakened. The whole town had gone insane in various kinds of ways. But all felt settled because it seemed to be the contemporary norm. Michal was looking at a 40 year old letter written by a girl named Heather from his family and there was a spot marked and he went there hoping for something to happen.

                                                                Some scientist looking people, workers and townspeople were drilling a hole with some advanced equipment. After 15 minutes of hiding and waiting, he went and jumped down. The jump hurt his legs really bad. The surroundings were freshly destroyed. He heard noises. It was all too creepy. But somewhere inside, he had been wishing for something like this.

                        All the desires and fantasies submerged within him were coming out. Michal was never the guy expecting for big things like winning a half a billion dollar lottery. He had his head filled with monsters shaped after the real beings he knew out there. The facility looked too modern for something that was built 40 years ago. But Jorden never cared.

                                        He had heard about a group called Exodus. He didn’t remember where he got that info. He suspected the guys with cool guns to be ones from that group. Michal sneaked to the second floor as silently as possible, trying to stay out of the notice of the Exodus. He saw the remainings of the walls and floors after some sort of a divine like battle. It was not just eerie but also terrifying.

                                                                He sensed someone coming. There was no place to go. He jumped onto the floor below. The pain numbed his legs. But he managed to crawl into a hiding. Now his fear of death was at the highest intensity. His town had become the creepiest and the spookiest place on Earth. He has gotten himself into the middle of a one big brawl of titans. He is now completely powerless. His thirst for adventure had screwed himself up good. Maybe that’s his way of way of letting his insanity loose.

                        When he could stand up, he saw 2 Cannibals. He saw the danger and ran as silently as he could. All his fantasies and horrors and fears were flooding the upper parts of his consciousness. Then he bumped into a sexy nurse. She was actually about 50 but was dressed like a 20 year old doing cosplay. She wore a tempting makeup with bright red nail polish, bright red heels and white sticking. Wrinkles appearing with her seductive smile and the look of the blonde’s hands still spoke of her age.

“Hey boy, it’s an unauthorized place to be.” Spoke the nurse.

                                                                Michal traced some of his memories. He remembered what he felt as a 12 year old. He had this bombshell cousin who was really nice and kind to him. She was a nurse. He had lot of guilty pleasures fantasizing about her. He thought that it’s wrong to do so. But he couldn’t’ stop and finally got engulfed in guilt. He got disgusted of hospitals. Nurses became sex objects that he wanted to stay away out of a feeling of guilt.

                        Michal was now looking at the nurse’s ample cleavage of 36DD cup boobs while admiring her curves. The nurse adjusted herself for a better view for him while making her look more live. She had sprayed both lavender and rose perfumes on her body.

“You seem terrified. Things have gone hot and nuts after that incident.” She talked touching the edges of her clothes and pressing her long red nails into her skin making slight red marks on her pearl white British skin.

“I hope you are not in for a wet job.” She expressed a slight pain as she was dangling her fingers over her vagina. She was looking at Michal's lips giving him ample opportunity to explore her face.

                                                        The thought of the Cannibals and the Exodus group grew fear inside of him. The mixture of fear, sensuality, guilt and the fear of unknown hypnotized him. Now he didn’t know what to do but to go with the flow. One can say it was losing self totally and falling onto despair. But for Jorden, it was a grotesque path leading to hope and salvation.

                        “You are a lost child, aren’t you? Here, come I’ll protect you from the monsters. You haven’t even seen the big ones yet.” She never touched him. She was always teasing and pinching herself. She slowly turned brushing her legs on each other. Her nipples were stiff and they were slightly pointing out through her uniform. A bit of some transparent liquid fell on her stockings making them wet. She made barely hearable moans as she walked. Michal walked behind her expecting a cat walk from her. But she kept some distance between her feet.

                                                        She stops for a moment and said that it feels difficult for her. She asks to hold her and guide her in the way she desire. Then she looks at the face and into the manly eyes. “Oh, I’m asking too much, aren’t I? You are too… nervous. Let me just grab you from the hip and the belt. You just lead me. We’ll take care of each other.”

                        She guides Michal through the hallways while clinging to his waist. Her footsteps don’t echo though they are sharp. The footsteps hear at each 4^th and 6^th heartbeat. Her nails dig into the skin through the shirt each few seconds. She walks like she is barely holding the effects of a drug. She keeps on with the slight moans and she is totally out in the blur. She can’t even keep her hands at one place. It’s like she is barely holding up her wilderness.

                                                She leads Michal to some sort of a medical and research room at a corner of the floor which was guarded by tight analog security features than can sometimes even outperform the digital counterparts. She jumps onto a bed and says “I’m Miranda by the way.” Jorden wasn’t in a mood to savor her juiciness anymore. His feet were being drowned in a swarm of objectified despair and insecurity.

                                                                The room was connected to few more rooms and was equipped with high tech state of the art equipment for any medical need or research which can even perform with minimal computer interaction in an emergency. The rooms were filled by corpses of humans, ex−humans and horrifying creatures that Jorden would feel satisfied running away from. All these things were experimented in the craziest ways. Someone had been toying with the body parts. Some corpses had been dissected while they had been still alive. They had been kept alive and warm until that certain someone enjoys her/his time with the body.

                                                There were video tapes (yes, tapes). Jorden could think of what they had been used to. He had simply found sanction in a horror house. Trance music was being played on a cassette player. He heard high heels hitting the floor. The nurse extended her arms to touch and take Michal to closer proximity. Then she stopped at about 6−7 millimeters from physical contact. Then she traced a triangle wither eyes looking at Michal from one eye to the lip and then to the other eye and took a long step close. “MI−RAN−DA… be polite and introduce yourself” “Michal Jordon” came the instant and wavering reply.

                        It was the ideal despair for Michal Jorden to get out of his ordinary life. It was self-exploration and letting out deep hidden fantasies, emotions, frustration and last but not least… personalized insanity.

                                                        Miranda took the cassette player and played with the earphones as if it is a whip. Then she started hinting something out. “Do you know when different beats are heard from the two of your ears, it creates a completely different frequency inside your head? Every check those stuff on YouTube? You can be stimulated and mani−somehtinged by these frequencies changing the being you are. By the way, do you know that all my professors including the ladies were frustrated because they couldn’t amp up my results beyond the A⁺⁺s I already had. The extra entertainment they received felt like something received through begging for them. My assistant somehow got his 5^th PhD as he wasn’t too bored with the ease of these things. He doesn’t even understand the scientific value and beauty of these surroundings. So I even experimented on what’s wrong with him?

                        Chills run through Michal’s spine and Miranda fixes the earphones on Michal’s ears. Her face looks expressionless and her eyes look hypnotic. She starts dancing around Michal making him feel his jeans to be too tight. Miranda starts dancing around Michal. Michal succumbed to his favorite horror and started seeing behind his head. His visual range was now 270˚; not 180˚. He could see his head which is something he had seen in two things which were some NDEs and over the head 3^rd person POV games.

                                                Then he saw some excessively stealth being knocking him down. He decided to call in a carbon based silicon life. He couldn’t realize how he was seeing himself while he is knocked unconscious. The humanoid creature was gone. Some red bracelet on Miranda's hand was glowing as if it is some control device. Michal sensed some frequency altering his very being and it was all out of his control. He was hopeful that it would alter him for the best experience as he was now completely out of control of his life.

                                                                        Miranda came and grabbed him from the arms. She carefully dragged Michal through the hallways. There was nothing he could do. He couldn’t move a muscle. He just waited like a good fan boy waiting to be taken to the next level of experience. She hid herself from the Exodus and the Cannibals. Exodus group had their senses working at the maximum level and she had to be really careful. She took so much pain to make sure that her heels don’t make a big noise.

                        She found some walls that were torn apart to reach a secret destination that only few more knew. She dragged Michal to the elevator. She noted some Cannibals that were slaughtered several minutes ago. She pushed Michal into the lift. Michal was itching to see her panties (while wishing that she don’t have any) and he finally got his magical moment. Then he was shocked in terror to see her undies covered in mutated bugs!

Questions and Bliss

I’m gonna ask you a question. What if I’m………not gonna ask you that question. Is that a problem? For some scum, not having a problem is a problem. The first Matrix movie says that humans understand and accept reality through pain. Thus we become slaves of pain. We work hard to get into pains called jobs so that we won’t be hurt so much. People feel comfortable when they know that they paid a price to get their comforts such as a 100,000 dollar car.

                                This is hilarious to me. Remember what I said about funerals. Yep, it’s all so pathetic. People go tagging various emotions on various things and suffer because of it. Why can’t you be happy when your dog dies. You don’t need a reason to be happy. There is no real absolute meaning in anything in our lives. We can do what we please. Only thing you have to care about is causality. You do whatever you want and face the outcome. That’s it about life.

                                                You don’t have to be sad because your mom died! Seriously, you suck if you do. If you are happy because you mommy didn’t die out of her heart attack; still you suck. If none of those things affect you and you are happy cuz you like being happy; then you rock. If humans understand the world through pain and dealing with pain in a zillion ways, what would you be when you completely ignore the problems and feel what you want to feel? That is dominance. That is the feeling of godhood. That is one of the things those pathetic drug addicts search in their miserable habits.

                        So what if I don’t ask you that question? Would it affect you? The questions are not there to affect you. If you do change when you face a question; you suck. A question is about self-exploration and self-centeredness. So are the so called problems of life. They are about exploring yourself. You have the answers. You don’t need to pray or scavenge for your answers. Explore yourself and understand you experience of reality. Just observe and you’d know the true nature of everything you call “real”. You make it real: just as you do with a dream.

                                                Haven’t you woken up being scared or with teary eyes after a dream? That’s how people under suffering and dealing with pain looks like to me. Taking care of lives problems are exactly the same as getting affected and all hyped up because of some dream. SO what is a dream? Isn’t it a delusion or something? Then why the f@<k would you react in any way. If there are no problems, it means you have nothing to do. Even engaging in a hobby is a small scale suffering. I mean don’t your hands hurt when you play a lot of games? Doesn’t your neck hurt while reading lot of books? Then being at rest should be one heaven of bliss, right? Just think about 24/7 meditation.

                                So do you really need that question I was gonna ask? Do you need a task to complete? Come on just chill. Be cool. Be awesome. Stop understanding and defining your life using pain and sufferings. Stop being affected by anything. Do the things you think that matter really matters? Be what you wanna be when you wanna be. decide who you are. Don’t be decided who you are through the random stuff that happen in your life such as losing a limb or death of parents or something. Be happy. Always be happy. Be happy as a decision; not as a petty reaction.

Decide your way into Awesomeness

I just saw this pic and started typing. Being in a good mood is a decision. Good job if you have already figured that out. If you have, most likely you have already taken that decision. Most people don’t take this kind of a decision because they feel like they have to pay something to get something. Equivalent exchange is one of the most wicked creations and craziest delusions of human kind (Human 1.0 to be precise).

                                There is no price for anything other than what it replaces. The only price you will ever pay for anything is a negative one. But you need to know to extract what you need. It’s simple. But you have trained your life to make sure you avoid it at all cost. That’s how pathetic this Human 1.0 is. You can decide yourself to feel anything. It doesn’t matter whether is happiness or some other thing you want to feel. You can feel it at your will. But many people search for outside influences to take decisions. When generally taken, human existence is a mere phenomenon just as an ameba.

                                                                Take over your consciousness. Actually you already have control and you are using that control to make sure that you are controlled by outside forces. This article by Osho will help a lot to deal with all this. Ignorance is the source of all problems and also the only fundamental source. When you are fully enlightened, you don’t perceive any problems. If there is anything that someone would see as a problem, you’ll be seeing the answer in the very problem.

                                                        Human kind is plagued in psycho-illnesses. I’m not talking about the stuff that you think that needs to be shown to a psychiatrist. I’m just saying if you can find or even imagine anything that is more ecstatic and free than your current state, you are ill. Many names have been used to describe this total cure such as enlightenment or nirvana. Total cure is all about letting go. When you let go of everything that can be defined, you transcend everything.

                                All you have to do is give up that delusion that you have to pay a price. You simply decide to be felt awesome. You can decide your way into anything. Check some of my previous tips & tricks if you are new. Read more about Psycho-Engineering. It’s something it’s my re-invention of self-designing which means to be your own personal god. You don’t have to give a f@<k about the world. Just be god for yourself.

                                                                Reality is a subjective experience. Try some hardcore Buddhism or Quantum Mechanics (try this first). You’ll figure out a lot on your own. Actually that is what’s necessary. Telling the truth doesn’t consume much time, but convincing it does. I found a 30 page pdf and as described by the writer, he has 10 words of truth. The rest is just some commentary. You feel what you decide to feel. That’s 7 words and that’s enough to make your life 100% ecstatic. You’ll live happy and awesome up to a point that the whole society around you will be shaken and distressed. This is a firsthand experience.

                                                There is no path to happiness or anything. You simply be awesome. It’s a decision. You don’t have to ask the society like the OS of the computer you are using. You simply decide your way into awesomeness. Realize this simple fact. It’s over your very eyes. But you won’t see it if you are looking for some path. You only need to realize the things you can just simply see. Be happy. Be cool and never try to live a happy life.

Rainbow Exorcism: Digital Demons_Teaser 3

Read part 1 and part 2. Enjoy yourself to the fullest. Transform yourself beyond all definitions.


We were only 13m away from their feet when they knocked down each other. What else would you expect? I was blown away the exact moment my fists touched that bitch’s (I mean Trinity’s) eyelashes. When I hit the trembling ground I didn’t hit with the mere 54kg of my physical weight. I’m not eh only one fighting. There is a whole lot going on this beleaguered heaven. Everything is correlated. Destiny is a dynamic experience. And on the top of that it’s-F**K- I just escaped from this. I’m not gonna accept it. I’m gonna hit this bitch and break her limbs.

                                I got up and hit her really hard. But after few kicks and punches, my offensivity was going down. The very sight of her motivated face reflected my actions. The seven 46m mechas fighting around us was constantly reminding me of the universal connection of everything. There are no isolated systems. Everything is correlated; causing the whole and caused by the whole. This didn’t make my body go numb. But my mind certainly became numb.

                                A giant foot which came between us separated us. A spaceship came and started using its Railcannons. I was surrounded by destruction. It all looked like a curse of god. But I knew hell a lot more than what meets the eye. I ran saving myself from the Railgun ammo and the giant feet of the mechas. I was becoming more and more of what I intended to create in the first place. A GZ-1593 model mecha crumbled at my feet, completely destroyed. I could see the struggle of the pilot to survive. I saw his agony. Not just that; I saw everything. I was looking at all the stats around me. I had this finely detailed report of the chaos around me. It was all so clear and heart penetrating. But it made me realize that ignorance is bliss.

                                                                These high-tech weapons of destruction people have built through such an effort, the reasons and motivation behind each soldier’s struggle, all the stats about the ammo, guns, mechas……I could just see all of it. I saw trinity coming at me. A Railcannon bullet pierced the ground 34cm away from her and the impact threw her off the ground. She almost got stepped on by a 115m heavy artillery mecha; you know the ones from FKR-3000 series that are like a copper-red walking fortress. I didn’t know whether I should be happy or sad or what. There was this weight of the whole universe making my legs go numb.

                                                        Every single action which means an interaction with the universe has an eternal effect on everything. Just come on……everything. Just…plz, someone make me a dumb bitch. A soldier in a massive Exoskeleton came running at me firing his plasma gun. He was vaguely aiming at the 2 Exos behind me. I barely dodged his plasma balls. These Exos too use a lot of melee weapons. I must say that they are new age knights with guns and I slowly understanding why. 

                        Through our evolution, everything became more and more subtle. Our bodies became weaker, but we became the most destructive. Thousands if not hundred thousand war epics happening in front of my senses at various levels spoke of our evolution better than anything. Everything is getting mixed into our daily lives. The leaders, the economy, the war… there has been such a lot happening around me. Through our evolution, better and wicked ways were created. The real war, the real economy is invisible. The multicolored mechas running havoc is just fan servicing wrapped around my senses.

                                                A Railcannon killed one of the Exos as collateral damage. What a gun it was! It was the massive shotgun version of the Railgun. The ammo was a complexly magnetized metal. When propelled, an electric current is sent through the ammo which screws around the stabilized system of electro magnets. The huge ammo dissects into multiple parts and acts as a hundred smaller Railguns. It’s an idea ripped off from the cluster bombs.

                That’s just some trivia. There are specific kinds of wave generators commonly referred to as “Deprams”. They are used to mess with the brain functions of the soldiers. It’s a very trendy gadget of the times. Every mecha has at least a weak one constantly working against the opponents. This isn’t even 2% of the madness and atrocities I can see. All of this is haunting me. Our real war is not what we see. The real war is a psychological one. We don’t want the physical world to be torn apart. Therefore everything is incorporated into our lives. Our great depression is our lives itself. Our demons lies in the waves around us…as information; bits, qubits, brainwaves……all just our own creations.

                                                I barely dodged her punch. I ran and stepped on a Exoskeleton and jumped back. She did the same. We kicked each other onto the ground. An Exoskeleton fell on Trinity’s legs. She had her armor. But on her expression I could see that it hurt a bit. I managed to get up. This was a good opening. I knew she is pissed. I knew that odds were stacked against me. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings again. She was in the fight for entertainment; But not anymore. I was desperate. There were only 700-800ms to take a decision. I did what I had to do. I charged at her.

                        She grabbed the 32kg mini-Railgun from the Exo-suited soldier and fired at me. The recoil made the gun hit her chin. I had already observed the stats about this SHANGRU-42 (rapid-fire) version she used. I managed to jump away, but onto a big brawl beside me. The Railgun ammo went so closely by my eyes that I felt like I was hit with a flash bang. I have never been hit with a one before. But I had observed more than sufficient data to simulate the experience.

                                                                With my eyes tightly closed I observed the world like never before. I was picking up every wave and was observing the world almost like from a 6^th sense. But I know it wasn’t any stereotypical 6^th sense. It’s something I had proposed to call direct perception. Though I had my eyes closed I observed Trinity standing up and coming at me with a piece of metal on her hands. One Exo knelt with a hard hit it received. I had fallen in between two fighters fighting with Vibrahammers. The heads of the hammers vibrate in a self-adjusted dynamic frequency that adjusts with the composition of the opponent to breakdown the opponent.

                                A well-tuned hit sends waves through the machine. Nerves of the pilot stimulate and suffer great pain apart from the brain damage. All out nuclear war is more of a cute fantasy battle compared to this (invisible) war of the war. I wanted to shut my senses from the happenings around me. My semi-divinity was becoming my greatest horror (yeah, I’ve got bigger horrors). There were so much acts of sorrow, fear, desperation, vengeance, valor, suffering and lamenting………all rooted on ignorance (bliss). I was crying looking at this yellow-black machine. Its Nano-engineered metal was getting beaten hard. As the broken machine fell on me, I crawled away thinking about myself retrospectively. Wasn’t I desperate! Wasn’t I scared! Am I not being the same kind of pathetic function of a massive battle?

                                                                Trinity cam in her shaking legs and attacked me and I countered. The victor of the previous battle I mentioned attacked another opponent while jumping into the air an got shattered in a way that is almost identical to getting vaporized by a Tri-Zeta AAA Railgun ammo which was intended for a 145m tall emerald and gold colored Heraclitus 9z mecha fired by a white and aqua blue 167m tall Neo-Genesis prototype mecha which has a hybrid design of an assault mecha and a fortress mecha and piloted by 6 ace pilots. And of course the ammo went through 3 skyscrapers of architectural excellence before piercing the ground with a shockwave.

                        I saw what was gonna happen 890ms before it happened. I jumped into a nearby crater of 5.45m depth. This must be the cliché she was mentioning. The impact shook the whole ground and tore it apart. The walls of the crater blasted and came at me. I was thrown into the air by the shockwave which went below my feet and sank to the ground by shuttered soil beneath me while getting buried in a pile of random stuff mixed with rich soil. What a city it was! The soil was the best soil I had ever known. This place is not merely a utopia. My knowledge should be capable of leading that New York civilization into something like this. But I was incapable of harvesting my knowledge. I became unable to give and cause enough reason to make such a hyper-utopia exist. I lost its Raison d'être.

                                               

                               

Bake the noddle:18_Path of Enlightenment

Let me tell you a story. One day, Hong Ren (Hung-jen), the fifth patriarch, called his disciples together and instructed them: "Each of you write a verse and bring it to me. I will read your verses, and if there is one who is awakened to the cardinal meaning, I will give him the robe and the Dharma and make him the Sixth Patriarch. Hurry, Hurry!"

The first among them, Shen Xiu (Shen-hsiu), took on the task of composing a verse. He wrote on the middle wall of the south hall.

The body is the tree of enlightenment

The mind is like a clear mirror

One must polish it constantly and earnestly

One must not let any dust set on it.

Hui Neng, a young monk, heard about the verse and immediately realized that it did not express enlightenment. He formulated a new verse and had it posted on the wall of the west hall.

From the beginning enlightenment has no tree

And the bright mirror has no stand

Buddha-nature is always pure

Where could dust set in?

                                                          Hui Neng was appointed as the sixth patriarch after this. Now you can bake your noodle to understand the delusion and the illumination. The first verse represents the madness of the educated society and the over complication and the hazardous methodologies. The second represents the true path of enlightenment or to be more accurate: the pathlessness of enlightenment.

Understanding on Quantum Mechanics can also help you to grasp this well apart from your own spiritual comprehension. Quantum information theory and Ithaca Interpretation will help a lot. Here is also a final teaser. Proper understanding of this line can lead you to total enlightenment:

If you cannot find the truth right where you are

Where else do you expect to find it?

Curiosity 1.61803399 opening teaser 2

Read the teaser 1 first. Be fascinated and don't forget to Bake the noodle.

“Note that zero effort is wasted on politeness markers. You wouldn’t get a plea. Slave mentality has been removed from all beings with great effort and utmost difficulty. Currently, such behavior is only seen among animals such as apes.”

“……………………………………………………….”

“You are also informed that all forms of bribery have been identified as a massive threat for the well-being of all intelligent sentience. Not just physical but also emotional/psychological bribery is also included”

[You always asked things with a “plz”. In return you demanded others to say please. You considered it to be the righteous way; not some bribery.

                              You feel yourself to be some……lost cause. You open up yourself to the divine power. You always believed that there is good force judging things and making things right. You seek refuge under that force. JEHOVAH-TSIDKENOU or Allah or whatever it is, he should exist to govern the world or else things would be unfair.

                                    Your whole body is trembling and you are in a dilemma thinking whether to walk on knees or crawl like a lizard. You crawl a little bit and finally gather enough strength to walk on your knees. The thought of a divine authority gives you strength and courage. You notice this fact and begin to have more and more faith in the divine. You feel this to be some sort of a test. You decide to let go of the generic names and just call him the divine. You are agnostic about many things related to the subject. But you think you’ll find all the answers at the end. Yet you never think about how you’d find an end in this infinity.]

” The level of detail was augmented in the sim for the ease of study. Same things are not as detailed as what they really are and some things were over-intricate. The appearances of some of the things were also changed; especially some slight yet impactful changes to the face. Don’t worry. All the things that can reflect your body have been removed. You wouldn’t even see your face”

[You are in shock and desperation. Your forehead lies on the floor. But you don’t let your midsection touch the floor.]

”This will be a long process of purgation and rehabilitation. Please proceed forward.”

Getting personal

I’m gonna talk about something personal about me for the first time on this blog. I’m a person who doesn’t really get pissed off. I’m a do not create any conflict and love all sentience kind of a person. But I do get pissed off once in a blue moon and when I do I behave a lot like Makishima Shougo. Yes, that is how I look when I’m totally pissed. Remember what happened at his first encounter with Tsunemori Akane. When I’m totally pissed my psycho-pass hit zero. Makishima is a person who is highly annoyed by the ways of the world and that’s what might become of me if I get too cornered.

                                                Those who have watched Psycho-Pass should now get a feeling that this post is not really out of the place. I won’t put any scenes from the anime since it’s all a load of spoilers. Watch the anime. It’s one of the greatest anime ever made and also one of my favs. If you haven’t watched the anime, skip the first half of the post.

                                                                                                Most of you should be like WTF???!!! That’s not how you’ve known an angry person. When people get pissed off they don’t get calmer and calmer…BULLSHIT!!! Who the f@<k are you to define a person’s reactions to an emotion?? You can only define yourself. An idiosyncratic highly rational person would only get calmer by anger because it is the most efficient way of doing anything. There are people who can see the very source of a problem/annoyance and only think about removing it ASAP when they are in pissed off mood. Makishima is annoyed by the ways of the society and decides to wipe out the very foundation of the nation because he wants to live his ordinary relaxed life. Makishima himself says that he is just an ordinary man.

                                      These are the ones you shouldn’t cross. All your definitions related to understanding a person will collapse here. A person might look naïve because he/she is getting into a very thoughtful and disconnected mood when faced with odds. This is when you turn tail and run cuz there is no way for you to know how/why when you hit the floor out of blue. It’s not just anger; the same thing can happen with any emotion. When you get personal you must leave all your knowledge about feelings and etc.

                                                                   There are many occasions where psychiatrists fail or end up giving one of the worst solutions to the problem. If you go by the book you will suck. Any case will be easy if you set definitions on the spot. You are not talking to a mass produced robot. True that the Human 1.0s act as one of models which can be used to control them. But when you really get personal, things get more subtle with anyone. Getting to know a person is different from getting to know what is necessary to use him/her as a puppet.

                             Psycho-Engineers can design who they are. They can design the most convenient response patterns for themselves. I haven’t showed a significant amount of anger in years. But I’m not done removing it from my design. The only rational strategy is the above mentioned one of removing the source that stimulates the chain of events that leads to anger until being able to change the very response to that specific chain of events. Anybody thought of that small patch? It’s simple and small but can be very dangerous to mess with.

                                                          Similar things can be said about other responses such as sorrow, happiness, sarcasm, sincerity……..So stop trying to look at people from your crappy pathetic frame. You can never know a person to the depth without understanding his/her unique design of “self”. It’s a completely different code. Treat every single person’s responses as unique because that’s what they are. You start to get personal with a blank face like Neo (Matrix). You let them do the expression and understand it. Abandon your territory and step into his/her territory. If you are trying to understand a application written in Java with your knowledge of VB you will face many boundaries and hell a lot of misinterpretations.

When you get personal with someone you are not the one who is extracting info as many deludes it to be. You are the one who is exposing yourself to all new set of codes. Explore and enjoy; like Zen. Don’t try to fit things up and define personality types. That’s just a load of crap. You only explore people. An explorer doesn’t stay inside his garden and doesn’t try to change the places he explores. He let them be what they are enjoys his time and expands his horizons of understanding.

Rainbow Exorcism: Digital Demons_Teaser 2

For the readers who liked the first teaser I’m giving a second one. This is the continuation of the first teaser. Like, comment and share. If this gets spread a lot, I might end up giving away more than half of the book on slickr-flikr for free. Enjoy and bake the noodle…………

Then I felt some more weight over me… all around me. The whole floor was shaking. Standing still meant running around like a drunkard. The quake was so violent that I felt my legs going numb. I wanted to surrender to the collapsing marvel yet my destiny stopped me from doing so. Why did I even decide this destiny for myself? I wanted to be broken apart before I reach the end.

                                        The remaining samurai’s were stricken in a complex mixture of both fear and confusion. “Might” would sum it up. My vision was too violent to see it clearly. But my mind was clear enough to perceive their agony. With my scythe brushing the floor, I was depicting that I’ve come to reap. Reap what? Maybe the grades for my skills. The unnaturally prolonged earthquake was pushing us apart while dissecting the riots. Yet the ones who needed to double back were keeping the close range with me. Somewhere inside of me I was crying for these guys. My I couldn’t see any other paths in my fate. The function of these soldiers is decided. They don’t leave cuz they don’t have any worth outside of the arena. Like a scripted event in a game I slayed the off like a final phase of a boss battle. This feeling of fatedness propelled me and gave me strength and made me feel that “all’s gonna be well.

                                                                                Losing control and surrendering to destiny was such a comfort. My laments for the dead felt nothing more than an icon indicating an environmental hazard. The quake died down and I slowly walked away like a dragon leaving a massacred arena. Letting go of the scythe-No-nooo-God…damn it. Pick it up…..[Exhales]….. Nope. It’s dumb, but for some reason… no scythe. Where do I see the ……yeah, the time traveling future seeing stuff. Maybe déjà vu.

But…what if it’s not!......!!!

I saw a phantom-two of them getting red. They knew-I knew that I’m closing on a great revelation. I stepped back and turned round and round like a lone protagonist awaken in a freshly deconstructed hyper-utopia as I realized that I had crossed the holy line of human awareness. I stepped on the land of God(‘s) or maybe its master’s soil. I almost realized all that is about destiny. It made me feel so small, fragile and valueless. Maybe it’s not me but my destiny.

                        It’s said that it takes a great wisdom to know that you don’t know. But more than wisdom, it takes a great deal of courage to know the uncertainty of all reality. I only had a glimpse but that’s all it took to shatter me into a zillion pieces. I wanted to run away and forget it all. I was so scared to call that awareness mine. I had to do everything I could to run away. I moved my legs. But the answers to all musings of mankind didn’t go away.

                                                                When I self-imposed my destiny to be Engkami, I didn’t meant it in this way or this quick. All I needed was the purgation from my-No!NO!!.......SHUT up. Shut the hell up!!! I don’t want a backdoor to divinity. Do you think people mean it when they say that they want to be billionaires overnight?? Get REAL. I don’t want to end the franchise right here.  I even wondered whether I’d be able to see the end! F*** enlightenment. F*** total comprehension. I don’t know a s**t about them. I want to invent god; not to wake up as a one. I WANT SURVIVAL GAME.

                                        That’s when I got hit on the face. Now it’s all gone away. Damn this feels good. I need to play by the rules. You know……like Newton and Einstein. The spear like rod sank to the ground while I dodged it and tackled the bitch who punched me. We were both on ground dipping in each other’s eyes and she was smirking. It is kind of nice to wake up from a dream of heaven because of your brawling brother and know you still have your average American family.

                        Then I heard; I saw choppers flying over me there was a weird 2ft. tall monkey like creature looking at me. It was interested in me. A photograph of a similar animal was taken on 2003. I saw it on a book about aliens. Then it ran away; scared. Some black ops guys ran after it. Well…actually they looked like some ghost squad from 2025 or something. My pain had reduc…. Wait! I’m in New York. Well um…mnnn… I…I..llost momentum. Anybody now the feeling of getting stretched and used to something big (monster sized) in between your legs. Feels a bit relaxing. Yeah, step by step. Let them keep guessing.

                                                        What the….. I think I fainted. No. I feel such a nice breeze. I know that’s just too much representation of the aplomb wind. But……. Let’s just master this level. Damn she is fast. I’m barely dodging her. I can see all her moves, strats and everything but…the gal is too fast. I tried blocking few punches. They shouldn’t do much more than cracking a brick wall; not breaking.

                                        The duel was all hand to hand. I did showed off my skills with tools and gadgets but I myself felt like I should know how to manage without them. I’m barely keeping up with this chick. Wait I said chick; not bitch. The girl is like a Lara Croft with 70% of the skin covered. For her mentality, I only saw playfulness. She always had this cute and intoxicated smirk on her face with her copper colored hair dangling all around like a plant under a heavy storm. I lost track of my own emotions while I was dipping in hers. No wonder why people don’t know who they truly are. They are always staring at others!

                                                       

                                I was feeling a pain all over my body. Not an intense pain. Just what you get when you are too tired. She came into close range. I mean 2cm between our lips close. As I blocked and dodged back, she hit me with a metal rod that was nearby. I flew like a chicken and landed. I was lying there is the same position that lions use. But my expression looked pathetic and knew I was gonna get kicked in the face. But suddenly she stopped charging at me and took 2 and a 0.5 steps back. She giggled. I didn’t get the joke.

                                                        I felt things getting more……human. I felt that this is gonna take some time. This girl has expressions. She is not the ass-kicking monster. With her hands on her hips she said “haven’t you heard of this cliché?” while twisting her tongue. Sexy…she should be full of juices. But then I was like “what!!?”

                        “Oh! Honey, you can see everything. But….. can you keep up with everything? Hmmm….. do I hit any memory cells?”

I sighed. I think I had fainted on the park. There was no pain anymore. I was completely numb. My eyes were open but I couldn’t really move my body. I felt getting dragged; into another dream. Really…what’s the big difference between this and the other one##? My effort felt like an effort to move a dead body. I’m scared…. Scared …………. Scared ………………………………

                                                “Come on. You had a life, right? I mean at least an anime for teens…. This cliché…you don’t get it!”

                        Now what the heck is she talking about? I thought this was about my destiny. I have lost grip of the Central York. No, it was a different name. I wouldn’t be going there, would I? It’s all about what’s ahead, right? I don’t want to look back.

“Damn. Why don’t you accept yourself as the being you are!!!”

                                        This bitch kicked me in the tummy. A huge spaceship like thing came crashing down. Why didn’t I pay any attention to the sky or the far horizon?!? I got my second kick in the tummy when I realized that sh*t gets real now. A comfortable portion of my rationality was working. I knew that I had to survive to see the marvel of a high-tech battlefield. If you enjoy seeing Godzilla, you neither run nor stand still.

                                                        I started countering this bitch. My stomach was feeling really bad. But I held on. I wanted to see the glorious war. To see it, I have to survive. If you love seeing Godzilla, move and engage in action. I have to be kicking ass or else I’m gonna die because of getting distracted by war.

                                                                I felt like asking her name. WTF is happening to me?!....... And suddenly she says “Trinity…. It’s Trinity. That’s my name” and twists her tongue. This pissed me off. The bitch is playing games with me! I can’t focus well enough to read her deep within. A 50ft tall mecha flew over our heads breaking the whole tower behind me. The mecha got blown away into pieces. I used this Trinity chick as a shield and also punched her in the nose.

                        I must say that her warrior looking outfit wasn’t just for the show. It can do a lot more than acting as an armor against mu punches and kicks. Well… she did spit some blood after the huge piece of metal and explosive ammo hit her on the back. I knew that this is a great opening for me. I punched her more. Right before I deliver a hard kick on her face, I saw a childish expression on her. She was like “ I didn’t kicked you I the face when I had the chance. Why are you getting advantage of the situation like this?”

                                                 Pretty childish. But I stung my very existence. The context is just like what it was with the samurais. But this is hard. I feel that my destiny is not a roller-coaster ride anymore. All will be well, but would I be well after doing all this? I felt the weight of interacting with sentience. It’s not a simple “I will be evolved to the next level by the time I beat the crap out of her” anymore.

                        Then I started seeing the effects of my actions. She used to fight like the water. There was a magnificent flow. Every move she made felt like a part of a one big combo. She looked very teasing and playful. But now she looks at me like a pissed off child with her red eyes. She charged at me and started fighting me with a passion and purpose. She had lost all her beautiful dance like flow. Her moves became quick and subtle. She was becoming more and more like the burning fire.

                                                        I am now witnessing the metamorphic impact of my actions. Sure I create reality using the input of my senses. But that doesn’t make me the owner of reality. I was too gung-ho thinking deluding that I’ve uncovered the knowledge for mastering the universe. But it turns out that my destiny is not the only one out there.

                                        The ground was already shaking. But it got really violent as we charged at each other for a special attack. Two 150m tall mechas came at 340km/h and made their own special attack simultaneously with ours. I almost felt those mechas to be a surreal allegorical representation of us. But it was very real. It’s true that those blue and white mechs were too elegant for war machines. But the shockwave of their elector-charged behemoth swords and AG-shields clashing together sent us flying like candy wrappers.