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Saturday, June 21, 2014

Helping your friends

Most of the people have a sick way of helping friends; specially when it comes to psychological problems. People call it sympathy, empathy, sharing sorrows, being together and various other dumb crap. All of these things are different ways of saying "let's lick each others wounds". Is this really a way of helping?  It happened that one very beautiful woman went to see her psychiatrist for the first time. The psychiatrist said, "Come closer please." When she came closer, he simply jumped and hugged and kissed the woman. She was shocked. Then he said, "Now sit down. This takes care of my problem, now what is your problem?"
      The problem becomes multifold, because there are helpers who are in the same boat. And they would like to help, because when you help somebody the ego feels very good, very, very good - because you are a great helper, a great guru, a master; you are helping so many people. The greater the crowd of your followers, the better you feel. 
                                                                    This is the hardcore truth behind the acts covered in the names of empathy and being together in hard times. In these acts you are not doing something great. You are just doing something miserable. Helping someone is not about standing together or crying together. It's about slapping the guy into reality and giving him a big push forward and walking in front of him leaving traces to follow. If you are in the same boat you can't help the other person. If your friend is feeling sad don't ruin your mood for that idiot. Give him a nice smile and show him the path to where you are. He wouldn't appreciate you while he is crying. But he will appreciate you when he is not crying . He wouldn't say "Thank you, I know you'll be there when I cry again". Instead of  licking each others wounds talk, he would say something like "Thanks man. Because of you, I wouldn't cry again"
                                         Stop indulging in ego feeding bullshit morality. Don't share miseries and problems. Free yourself of all problems. Then go to your dumb friend and transform him into a wise guy. Teach him how to get rid of all the problems. Teach him to stand alone on his own ground. Don't try to patch up your friends boat so that he would patch up yours in a later time. Make yourself a excellent boat and teach your friend to do the same.